


Stay

by imagineyou (jokerindisguise), jokerindisguise



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, Reader Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:34:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26315764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jokerindisguise/pseuds/imagineyou, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jokerindisguise/pseuds/jokerindisguise
Summary: You think you’re saving yourself by leaving the group, but when Shane tracks you down, you realize you needed him all along.
Relationships: Shane Walsh/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> I meant for this to be a drabble, but it did not turn out that way. :/

You didn't realize you were planning on leaving the group until you were already gone. 

It seemed like the group was constantly falling apart. First Merle went missing, presumed dead, which wasn't such a huge loss in your opinion. But then the group just kept losing people. Amy and Jim were lost to walkers while Morales decided to take his family and try their luck somewhere else. Jacqui opted out and Sophia was lost in the woods. And then Carl got shot. 

The only thing the group seemed to have gained was Rick Grimes and you weren't entirely convinced that it was an even trade. 

You were tired of losing the people you were starting to consider family. Surviving with the group was one thing, but you had become entwined in their lives as well. You knew Carl's favorite color and that Daryl wasn't a big fan of small-talk, but he seemed to enjoy someone's silent presence while he dressed and skinned the results of a successful day's hunt. You knew Glenn was in love with Hershel’s eldest daughter and that T-Dog secretly hated green peas. 

You were becoming invested in their lives, but you didn’t know how much longer those lives would last. Death seemed to literally be around every corner, just waiting to snatch away someone else with greedy fingers and hungry moans. 

You couldn't stomach watching Carol fall apart every night since the fate of her daughter was unknown. Add to that watching Carl, the kid who usually had a smile for everyone in the group, pale and defenseless from a gunshot wound, and you just couldn't take it anymore. You didn't want to watch the group divide and splinter with each passing day. You had reached your limit. 

So, while you didn't mean to leave, it ended up being what you needed. 

You told the group you were going for a walk and by the time you noticed you were a couple of miles away from the Greene farm, you realized you had no intention of turning back. 

It was oddly freeing to know the only person you had to count on now was yourself. If you died, then that was your fault. If you were killed, then there would be no one to mourn you. You were cutting ties and saving yourself and the group any potential emotional damage. 

You knew it was selfish to just wander off and never come back. You knew they would assume you were dead or worse. But you couldn't keep forging bonds just to have them get abruptly cut off every time the group faced a problem. 

It took you a while to adapt. You had been lucky enough to leave with a machete and a hunting knife for protection. You had learned enough from watching Daryl that you could catch something to eat if you had to, but you had to admit that your supplies were running alarmingly low. 

The backpack you had taken with you only had half a salvaged bottle of water and a granola bar. You didn't want to have to scavenge, but you knew it was your only option. You couldn't risk letting hunger or dehydration weaken you when you were constantly fearing and fighting for your life. 

You lucked out by finding an abandoned convenience store on an otherwise desolate stretch of highway. You were sure you would be able to spot any walkers around for miles and if you were really lucky, then you could get in and out without any problems. 

You made sure to keep your knife at the ready as you did a quick perimeter check. You couldn't shake the feeling that something was just the slightest bit off and while you knew you should probably listen to your gut instinct to leave, you couldn't really afford another night with minimal water and food. 

You were glad to see that the store wasn't picked clean. You found a few sports drinks and canned items to add to your collection of supplies. There was an itch just under your skin that warned you to hurry up, so you quickly swiped a few candy bars from the meager offerings. It was as you were closing up your backpack that you heard it. 

The sound of shuffling footsteps. 

And they were heading right for you. 

You lowered your backpack to the floor and whirled around, ready to kill the walker creeping up on you. 

You thought you would be greeted with the sight of decaying flesh and starving, grasping fingers. Instead, you were surprised to see... 

"Shane? What the hell are you doing here?" 

Shane offered you a rueful grin, his hands up to show he wasn't a threat. "Well, I'm not a tracker like Dixon, but I did alright, didn't I?" 

You frowned at him, your hand slowly lowering so you weren't quite pointing your knife in his direction. "Why were you tracking me in the first place?" 

Shane shrugged his shoulders before he feigned interest in the shelf next to him. He reached out to pick up a lone packet of ramen and studied it. "You were one of the only ones with any damn sense. I figured if you were making a run for it, then I might as well find out why." 

You shook your head, not knowing what to think. You had never really been close to Shane, but you appreciated what he brought to the group. He was a bit too ruthless, but you knew he would do absolutely anything to protect the people he cared about. That protection always covered the group to an extent, but you noticed only a few people seem to be the main focus of it. 

"What about Carl?" You couldn't help but wonder, taking note of his grimace. "And Lori? Rick?" 

Shane let out a humorless chuckle, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "Seems like I wasn't going to be missed all that much for at least a few days. So, I reckoned I'd come after you." 

You quirked an eyebrow at him before finally reaching for your backpack on the floor. "How'd you know I wasn't dead?" 

"You’re smarter than that, Y/N," Shane pointed out with a smirk. "I gave you the benefit of the doubt." 

"Thanks," you muttered before you brushed past him. "You've seen I'm alive for yourself, so you can head back to the farm now." 

"Thought I'd stick around for a bit," Shane offered as he moved to follow you. "Came here on foot and it was a long journey. I'm not too eager to make it again." 

You glanced at him over your shoulder before you sighed. The reason you left the group was so that you wouldn't have to worry about anyone else. With Shane here, you could already feel that persistent need to make sure he was safe creeping back in. 

When you got outside, you noticed Shane stop briefly to scoop up a duffel bag, before he followed after you. "So, you got a plan? Know where you're going?" 

"Not at all," you answered honestly as you glanced around to make sure you weren't going to be surprised by any walkers. 

You heard Shane huff out an amused breath, but he dutifully followed you when you took off in the direction of the woods on the other side of the highway. 

You kept expecting Shane to leave. He had checked on you, made sure you were fine, so why was he still sticking around? 

As days passed and you got used to having Shane around every hour of the day and night, you started to realize a few things about him. 

He had a devious nature about him, but he was also kind and caring. He seemed to notice little things that you would have never thought important. He fully expected for you to take care of yourself, but he always had your back. He was playful and all-too-serious in turns, but he never made you feel like you couldn’t trust him. 

You weren't sure when it happened, but you found yourself looking forward to nightfall. With walkers around, night could mean low visibility and lethal surprises, but it also meant you got to see a softer side of Shane. 

Instead of spending your nights fearing the dead, you found a solace in Shane you had never experienced before. He seemed to unwind when it was just the two of you in the quiet of the night. 

Whenever a chill swept in, you would risk a small fire for warmth. You would sit huddled together, seeking heat from the fire and each other, and Shane would talk. 

He told you about his former days as a sheriff's deputy. He recounted tales from his days in high school when he would prank his principal or get into trouble with Rick. He confessed to his affair with Lori and how it tore him up to be away from Carl. He told you about his slow falling out with most of the group in the days after your departure. 

Hearing his voice in the otherwise silent night was what started to carry you through the day. 

You started craving his company during those quiet, intimate moments when it started to truly feel like you were the last two people alive. 

You assumed Shane still planned on going back to the group. It didn't seem to matter to him that the both of you were traveling farther away from the Greene farm. He missed Carl and was still pining away for Lori. Of course he was going to go back to them. How could you possibly compare? 

It didn't take you long to realize you would miss him when he finally decided to leave you. 

There was a day, only a couple of weeks after Shane found you, when it seemed like there was a group of walkers everywhere you turned. 

"Must be getting close to a city," Shane guessed as he reached up to wipe the sweat from his brow. He frowned at the grime and dried walker blood on his arms. "We should find somewhere to wash up." 

You quirked an eyebrow at him, silently challenging him to find you a place to take a decent bath. With no home base, it wasn't like you had steady access to a water source. You got so desperate just a week ago that you bathed during a downpour and pretended it was a shower. It made you miss the few moments you got to enjoy the relative comfort and safety of the CDC before Jenner blew it up. 

"Come on," he coaxed as he nodded a bit off the path. "Bet I can find us some place before it gets too late." 

You frowned up at the slowly darkening sky before you conceded with a sigh. 

To your delight, Shane managed to lead you towards a small creek. 

"It's not much, but it'll do the job," Shane said before he started to strip out of his shirt. You noticed he kept his underwear on once he took off for the water. He had a bar of soap in one hand and your machete in the other as he carefully stepped around rocks and twigs. "Come on, Y/N. Not much daylight left to find us a shelter," he reminded you before he waded into the water. 

You couldn't help but watch him for a moment before you sighed and made sure you couldn't spot any walkers. You were always worried they would catch you at your most vulnerable moment and stripped down to just your underwear with only Shane to back you up seemed like a bad idea. But, you realized as you stepped cautiously into the water, you trusted Shane with your life. If he thought it was a good idea, then you were going to take him at his word. 

You heard Shane chuckle and when you glanced up, it was to notice he was considering you from just a few feet away. 

"Come on, girl. It's not like I'm gonna bite. You've been getting pretty rank these past couple of days. You need to wash off more than I do." 

You caught the smirk on his face and the way his eyes twinkled with mirth. 

"Fuck you, Shane," you muttered before you glanced down to the water circling your thighs. You tipped your head back up to look at him, raising an eyebrow, before you slowly reached down to cup some water in your hands. 

"Oh, no you don't, girl," Shane quipped as he took a few steps away from you. "Don't even think about it." 

You couldn't help the pleased grin on your face as you flung the water in his direction. It didn't quite have the impact you wanted, but it seemed to set off a few carefree moments with Shane in which you both splashed each other relentlessly with water. 

Shane finally conceded defeat when you managed to catch him off-guard and dunk him under the water. 

"Uncle, uncle," Shane cried when he resurfaced. He spat out a mouthful of water and shook his head. "You've got a mean streak to you, do you know that?" 

"I was the youngest kid," you told him as you finally moved to scrub off the dirt clinging stubbornly to your arms. "I had to learn how to fight for myself." 

"Huh," Shane breathed as he followed your lead and started getting clean as well. "Didn't know that about you." 

You shrugged your shoulders, offering him a helpless grin. "There's a lot you don't know about me." 

"I guess that's true," Shane remarked before he started slowly making his way back towards the shore. "We should probably head on," he added as he moved towards his discarded pile of clothes. "It's going to be dark soon." 

You sighed, knowing he was right, before you joined in him getting redressed. You hated the way your clothes stuck to you, but you didn't have the luxury of waiting to dry off. You had to find some kind of shelter if you could before night fell. 

Later, as you sat close to Shane and tried to soak in the warmth from the fire, you couldn't help but think back on the past couple of weeks with him. 

You thought you were better off alone, but you realized you needed him. 

Who was going to make you smile or laugh while you were fighting for your life every day? Who was going to watch your back or distract you with tales of his former glory days? Who was going to push you to walk just a bit farther when it seemed like you'd never want to walk again? Who was going to remind you that there was still life out there among the dead? 

Shane. It was only Shane. 

You couldn't handle the thought of him leaving you anymore. If he left, then you would spend the rest of your days thinking about him and missing him. 

You found yourself reaching out for his hand and tangling your fingers together. You felt him startle as he glanced to you in surprise. 

"Y/N?" 

His voice was so soft and wondering that you couldn't help the hopeful smile you offered him. 

"Stay?" 

For one disheartening moment, you thought he was going to disagree. He was quiet for just a beat too long before a pleased grin slowly formed on his face. 

"I didn't plan on going anywhere without you," he assured you before he squeezed your hand. 

You couldn't help but watch him as he turned back towards the fire, feeling a little breathless and awestruck. 

When Shane didn't let go of your hand, you found yourself thinking that maybe there was more to the apocalypse than simply surviving. Maybe forging and keeping a connection wasn't the worst thing you could possibly do. You had been so terrified of losing all you held dear, but with Shane at your side and his warmth pressed along your side chasing away the evening chill, you knew you instead gained everything you needed. 

And you were going to hold onto that for as long as you possibly could.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, then letting me know would make my day! 💖


End file.
